He said "it's over!" He packed up things and left. To be abandoned is painful and hurtful, but even worse, if you are sure that this man was your second half and the other is not found in the whole world. In this case, you can try to back it. Only that the operation "return favorite" had a better chance of success, it is necessary to adhere to several rules and act step by step.
First Step: Take a Pause
One of the main mistakes made by girls after parting is to send endless SMS, to which he often either does not respond at all, or reacts aggressively. Best format of texting to your ex…….Text your Ex Back….. Prepare for the fact that this step will be the most difficult. You categorically can not contact the ex one at least two weeks after parting.
Accept as a fact that once a man has left – there were reasons for that. Having started to call and write to him on the first night of a "free" life, you will only prove that he was right – you did not understand anything. Remember that if your loved one wanted to talk to you – he would have done it, but did not leave. Give him time to rest from you, and to yourself – to cool down and heal the wounds.
If you really want to tell him how painful for you to fall asleep alone in bed, write a message – and save it in drafts. Or send a friend. Remember that the more pitiful you will look in the eyes of a man, the less likely that you will be able to return it.
Also, do not watch the activity of the former in social networks. Firstly, he can find out about it and he is unlikely to like it, Secondly, you will drive yourself crazy, wondering if his new girlfriend on Facebook is his new passion. The only way to keep your psyche is to block updates to its status in all social networks, or even better – just do not look there for at least a couple of weeks. It's better to read an interesting book.
The Second Step: Stand on your Feet
You feel offended and devoted. You are angry with him for having left without appreciating how wonderful you are. You cry without end, because every thing around reminds of a lost love – a song sounds on the radio, to which you danced in a disco, on the TV there is a film that you last watched, buried in his shoulder, and the sweater in the shop window is so similar on the one he wore …
Before you can try to build relationships, you need to restore the ability to think soberly. So it means crying and settling down.
Ask your girlfriend for help – talk to them, go somewhere together. At this stage it is advisable to avoid drinking alcohol, because in a state of intoxication you will be more difficult to control yourself and you can do what you will later regret. For example, still write to your ex. Or find comfort in the arms of the first person on the line.
If you are serious about building relationships, you need to become the person that your as-yet-former man once fell in love with. Remember that he liked you when you first started dating?
Go to the beauty salon and make yourself a beautiful hairstyle. Arrange home cleaning. Sign up for a fitness club and really start going to workouts. Learn to cook his favorite dish. If all this does not help you to return your ex, it certainly will not interfere with life after him. In this case, you should read this guide to get ex back.
Third Step: Clarify your motives
Often experiencing parting is difficult not so much because you left this particular man, so much because it changed your habitual life, environment, pastime, habits. He got up before you and cooked breakfast, because he knew that you could not do anything before the morning coffee worked. After work, you met in the park to take a walk and share stories about what happened during the day. Who now tell them? You fell asleep in an embrace, together planned the weekend, and in the fridge is still a piece of cheese with mold, which he loved so much …
Our body always strives for balance, for a stable and peaceful life. It is conditioned biologically – any cardinal changes, no matter whether good or bad, entail changes, and the body understands – will have to re-adapt. And he resists everything new.
Therefore, after parting, it is so important to understand whether you are missing a specific person or everything that you were associated with. Go to this step only when you are on your feet – that is, you can remember without crying the joint supper with candles and at least admit that this man can never return to your life.
Think about it – when you remember your ex, what you most miss, what do you miss? His smell, his embraces, his clever statements about politics? Or, perhaps, the way he cared about you, as he complimented? Try to imagine – how would you feel if there was another man next to you who would do everything that you like so much in your ex – walk with a dog, give you flowers without an occasion, meet you from work, take care of your parents?
If after all these thoughts you are still convinced that your ex is an ideal man that you can not lose in any case, it's time to move on to the next step.
The Fourth Step: Understand the Reason for parting and Realize your Role
To return your ex, you need to correct something that he did not like to such an extent that he decided to leave. And for this you just need to understand what are the reasons that played a key role in his decision to break your relationship.
He wanted to hang out with his friends, and you loved spending time alone at home (and not too fond of his friends)? You constantly cussed about anything – from "who is throwing trash today"? You dreamed of a career, and he wanted to become a father? You got a tenth cat, and he's allergic?
The longer your relationship lasted and the more serious they were, the more likely it was that the reason for the breakup was not one random fact, but a whole group of systematically recurring events. Try to track this "chain".
Make a list of his claims to you – this is far from the most simple task, on which you will need a lot of moral strength, but it's worth it, since you decided to return the man.
Of course, if he wanted to see next to a lean blonde with blue eyes, and you are a broad-brunette with green eyes, it will be difficult for you to meet his requirements. But if your boyfriend or husband did not like that you make him spend emotional time with you, rather than doing what he wants, or that you do not wash the dishes, well, you can work on it.
By the way, to understand the reason for the gap is only half the battle. Now you need to really make amends. Do not forget that even if you eliminate everything that your boyfriend ever complained about, there is still the possibility that he will not want to renew the relationship. Therefore, if you decide to work on yourself, do it not for his sake, but for yourself.
Fifth step: Have the Ex Try Again
You calmed down, adjusted your life, realized the reasons for your separation and corrected the "shortcomings" – it's time to let the ex know that you do not mind renewing the relationship.
Encourage him to meet in a neutral place, where nothing reminiscent of your story – for example, in a new coffee house. Do not say that you need to "seriously talk" – better say "we have not seen each other for a long time, a lot has happened during this time, let's meet and discuss the news, besides, I have long wanted to give you a scarf that you forgot from me." If this process is not good than you can also read ex factor guide for help.
You can make an appointment only when you are 100% sure that you will not beg the former to return, weep only after seeing him and quizzically asking who he writes SMS to him every five minutes.
He must see in you not the girl he threw, but the one he once loved. Be calm, friendly and self-confident. Prepare yourself for different options for the outcome of the meeting, rehearse – what will happen if you offer to come back again, and he will say "I have another"? Or "I'm still not ready"? Or "I would love to, but I'm leaving for five years in Iran"?
Think through the words that you will tell him that you still want to be together. It is not necessary to state that you can not live without it and suffer every minute that it is not there – you should not press on and pity you. It is better to say that you thought a lot about the reasons for your parting and admit that in many respects were not right. Tell us how you worked on yourself and what you achieved. And note that you absolutely do not want to go back to what was before, but you want to try to start a relationship with a clean slate because, whatever one may say, you were so well together.
Do not expect that your ex will rush into your arms so soon, perhaps he will need some time to think about your proposal. No matter how he reacts, you can confidently tell yourself that you have done everything in your power to save this relationship. And even if it did not help – well, apparently, this man is not your half. If this guide is not working well than you can also try.